Fez #46: Peter Brusoe


Salve Fellow Milliner Aficionados: Today we write you to request humble admission into the Order of the Fez. While many people know the second greatest fatherly advice given to a son, (Polonius advising Laertes to be true to himself) people overlook the wisdom of Mr. C to Richie “The hat makes the fraternity.” We are petitioning you today to admit to the membership PDubya Brusoe the Human, Rocky the Raccoon, and Ms. Honey Jo Bear. We present to you a poem:

There was a boy, a bear and a raccoon
They loved to get together at noon
One would bring tea, another cakes,
The third would bring frosted flakes

See here PDubs, can you pass the box?
Rocky would ask standing on the rocks.
Sure Rocky here you go! and you Ms Bear?
I’m fine but if you cold get me a chair?

There the three of them sat and supped
The sun in the sky went on up.
As the UV rays sat and baked the trio
They complained and said no hace frio!

They each had a very bad sun burn
From this they each soon learned
When it came time to sup, a hat was a must
Else their skin was colored rust!

Alas, what type of hat would they wear?
This was a matter of very important care!
One tried the beautiful brown derby
But they all looked like an out of place furby.

One tried a fedora complete with a feather
Alas, they looked like my Aunt Heather
Their hat experiments had a number of run ins,
Like The 500 Hats of Bartholomew Cubbins

The Zucchetto, the Ushanka, the Tuque!
The top hat the Tricrne and even a Toque!
A sombero, a Pith, a Kepi, Monetra
They were exhausted and said no mora!

They three asked, alas what shall we do?
As they passed right on by the zoo.
There a camel came across the trio
“What is wrong?” he asked ala curio

“Oh Mr. Camel, it is horrible, we can’t find a hat!”
The raccoon cried as a tear fell all big and fat.
“Have you tried the most noble and glorious fez?
It works well, or that’s what everyone says!

The fez is conical in shape with a flat end
This will cause the sun’s rays to bend
On the side of the hat is the tassel
Gives you the wind speed with no hassle.”

Ms. Bear raised her paws
Then the camel paused.
“Mr. Camel this is good
Wear a fez, we should!”

The human asked the raccoon and the bear:
“Will we provide free, high quality healthcare?”
“No, said the bear, we’ll leave that to the shriners
They do great care for minors”

From that day forward our trio had their hat
They can enjoy the sun and sit on a picnic mat.
When we heard about this noble order of the fez
we figured we would apply and do what the leader says

We hope our supplication has been fine and that we could become Fez
46A, 46B and 46C.

In fez solidarity,

Pdubs, Rocky and Ms. Bear

Peter clearly has the Secret Sauce we call fezorocity and is worthy of membership. However, given the lack of human chromosomes, Honorary Membership is the best we can do for his raccoon and stuffed bear.

Please make PDubya welcome in the Ancient and Accustomed Manner.



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