Fez #34: Graeme Cunningham


“Noble Brethren of The Order of the Fez,

I humbly petition you for induction into your most noble and worthy fraternity.

I have long sought a Fez to call my own. But I had previously had some bad experiences with novelty party fez and a particularly unyielding hard felt number that felt more akin to wearing a ceramic plant pot. When I came across the wondrous wears of the Fez Monger, it was a sign! Since I took delivery of my new head wear, it has become a integral part of the daily routine.

I work long hard hours for no appreciation. Of an evening, I return home, drained of humour and tired of a relentlessly grey environment. But once I’m home, and the Fez is placed upon my brow, such trifles as work and bosses seem to fade into the background. I can relax in front of my drawing board with a Mojito and concentrate on my art, though which I eventually aspire to remove myself from the hum drum working world forever. (I’m a sometime illustrator come aspiring tattooist).

A little about myself, I’m 30 years old, I live in Edinburgh, Scotland. For a good many years I have been involved in the local underground punk/metal/hardcore music community, organizing shows, putting up bands and generally having a lot of fun. I currently play bass guitar in the beat combo “Lords of Bastard,” hopefully I can provide some documentary evidence of me rocking in a Fez soon. I find the tassel most useful when it comes to wind milling (a technical term for head banging in a circular fashion, for those not of a heavy metal persuasion).

I am a nerd. I have nerdy passion for many, many things. Including, but by no means restricted to: Moai, tattoos, comic books, ginger beer, religious art, pro-wrestling, vinyl records, cats, head wear in general, ancient civilizations, sci-fi, horror… I’m sure you get the idea.

I should also mention, that since taking delivery of the fez, strange forces in the universe have clearly been awakened. Just last week a van parked outside my house with “FEZ” in the license plate. Last week when I was in town, I encountered a giant Fez, levitating above the door of a local eatery. I had plans to incorporate a Fez into my next Tattoo piece, and these “signs” seem to me as sure an indication as any that a higher authority must surely approve.

Whilst I’m here I also wonder if perhaps I can also draw attention to the Facebook group my good lady founded, “Compulsory Fezs for Flamingoes: Pressure group”, although not a massive fan of headgear herself, being of small cranial dimensions, she is a firm fan of any member of the animal Kingdom who wishes to partake in some Fez wearing fun. We would be delighted to have some more members swell the ranks…

It has long been my wish to join a secret society. I did consider the Masons, but to be honest, I’m no monarchist and in this country there seems to be no Fez wearing whatsoever. I throw myself upon your mercy and await your decision with bated breath.”


Fez #1 is speechless. This Petition of Worthiness raises the bar to new heights. I pray this is not some angry Shriner punking the OOTF. But then, could a shriner really have written this POW? I don’t think so. Hit that comment link and welcome #34.


2 Comments on “Fez #34: Graeme Cunningham”

  1. Anna-Helena says:

    Googling “fez” for a costume party. Find this peculiar site. Scroll randomly through the pages. Stop at Fez # 34. Startled I say to myself; I have met this man, in Edinburgh 2001!
    Roads are crossing where you least expect them!

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