Roderick Kennedy: Fez #22

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“I Roderick “Roger” Kennedy do hereby request fair consideration for membership to the Royal and Exalted Order of the Fez.

I have entertained the idea of seeking membership to such a benevolent and protective order for some time.

My first attempt was to join the Shriners. I turned them down once I found out that they were interested in my becoming a traveling clown for use in their circus’s. The travel schedule was too much for me to bear, and with the remembrance of finding a clown in an alley as a child and how it scarred me forever, I declined their fair offer.

Next I looked into the Illuminati. They seamed like an alright bunch, but I couldn’t find how to get a hold of them.

I thought about the Elks, but I remembered my cross-country adventure with my Godfather and his check writing scheme with the Elks as we sold gold jewelry. (True Story!) So I have X’d them off my list. So for years I have worn my Fez’s in solitude.

At times I will wear a fez while I ride my 1965 baby blue Vespa scooter. How nice my scooter would look with a sticker of the order on it.

The attached photo shows my comfort with the fez in public. Our church was holding it’s semi-annual “Princess Party” where all the young ladies of the church and their mothers had a sleepover. My wife became ill at the last minute, (Strange how that happens?) and I volunteered to take her in my wife’s place as my darling four year old daughter was so looking forward to the event. She went as a Snow Princess and I as her escort and Princess Security. In the photo I can be seen painting my daughters fingernails. A great time was had by all.

I have two fine Fez’s, both purchased on eBay. My first Fez was a gorgeous Shriners’ fez from the temple of Mahi in Florida. I purchased it from the son of a deceased Shriner. What brought me to this fine specimen was it’s fine jeweled appearance and the fact that the deceased Shriner was the head of the Mini-Indi precision miniature car team. This specific fez was worn for miniature car events and in beautiful colored baubles it reads “MINI-INDI”. Once it arrived, and I was admiring the long fixed tassel, my dear wife was on the phone wanting to know where to go for co-dependent haberdashery counseling. She always knew I was different with going to Tiny Tim’s funeral (Quite true!) and the like. She chocked it up to one of my many oddities I neglected to inform her about prior to our vows.

My second Fez is from Dramatic Order Knights of Khorassan. It is a sub organization of  the Pythians a link to their site can be found here . It is a smaller Fez and fits my noggin quite well. The tassel reaches just below the bottom and unlike my Shriner fez the tassel is not fixed to the side of the fez so I real can swing that baby around. This is the fez shown in the attached photo.

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If requested, I am willing to submit a small scrap of skin from the back of my neck for DNA testing to validate my identity.

As a testament of my sincerity to the succor the fez provides me, I could take a bullet for my fellow brothers if needed.

In conclusion, I say I didn’t get where I am today by not knowing when and when not to join a secret society. Let’s send my application up the flagpole and see if the squirrel salutes!

Respectfully awaiting your response.

Audaces fortuna iuvat !”

It would be a lot to expect of one petitioning for membership, but I would have been even more impressed had the photo shown the girls painting Roderick’s toenails. A memory sure to scar the kids for a lifetime..

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