Fez #5: Edward Dulle

Please join me in welcoming Edward Dulle to the Order of the Fez. Edward is the fifth member of our order.


“With the attached pic, I hereby submit my application to the Order of the Fez. I had to do a little hunting around for it. As I was searching I tried to find my mullet (just in case there were to ever be an Order of the Mullet) also but alas was unsuccessful.

The story of the acquisition of my fez begins at my friend’s restaurant here in Kansas City on St. Patrick’s day 2006. My family and I were sitting at a table next to an old, lonely Irish man.  For some reason he thought me worthy to posses such an item and he was looking to pass it on.

You see, he knew that he was about to breath his last after hours of self medication on hefty doses of Guinness and Jamison and it was time for him to name his successor.  The only condition he placed upon me was to restore dignity to the fez.  No debauchery in celebrating the Irish and old St. Patrick.  I promised I would be faithful to the fez and restore its dignity.  I assured him that the fez is placed in good hands as I am the owner of a genuine kilt (photos available upon request but you might not want to see such a sight) and will proudly wear it (the fez) in his honor.

His parting words were these, “Here’s to Beefsteak when your hungry, Guinness when you’re dry; All the girls you ever want, and heaven when you die.”  I can’t argue with that.

The story is true(ish) but I hope you’ll see that I will be an honorable and valuable member of the Order of the Fez. Just don’t make me get on my knees and beg. Thanks in advance for considering my application to the OTF.”

No, Edward, you don’t have to beg. But if we weren’t a little desperate for members, we might want to examine that tassel. It looks suspiciously like a high school graduation tassel from a wealthy KC suburb.


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