Zombie Order of the Fez


Fez #1 Hello!

My name is Darien Koons and I hail from the Great Plains (full of corn) of Indiana. I seek to prove my worthiness To the Order of the Fez. For over a year I have dreamt of the day that I might petition the ever glorious Order of the fez and the day has finally come. Am I worthy? I hope it to be true.

I feel myself worthy to bear the fez of the order, for I have felt a calling of the fez for near my entire life. A calling of style and elegance which is only offered in, this, such a small subset of headgear, the fez. I have quenched my thirst for such fezdom very modestly with a small red fez (as pictured below).

Although I am aware that the Order of the Fez has fallen from its previous glory, (letting the domain expire) I still hope that I am able to join the ranks or your order and don Fez #54 (which I learned is technically #53 after reading further into the WordPress blog)

Respectfully Submitted,
Your Pleading, Begging, No-Doubt-Worthy Friend,
Darien Koons

​Greetings, Darien:
I’m not certain what “joining the ranks” of a fictional order that no longer exists means. But the essence of the Order of the Fez was — from inception — was a) owning a fez and proving it with a photo [check] and b) convincing The Membership you are worthy. As the Founding Member, I guess I can again bestow upon myself the power to grant membership, so… you’re in. Congratulations.​
I’ll have to figure out how to add you to the Ranks That Are No Longer.
Fez the First

The Changing of the Fez


It’s time for new leadership at the Order of the Fez. It’s been 9 months since my last post and that’s no way to run a secret society.

In a few days I’m retiring from my square day job and that seems like a good time to hand off the OOTF. I’m not entirely sure what that involves but we can transfer the domain (no charge). We can transfer the content… or just flush and start fresh.

I’ll even throw in Fez #1 (assuming you have a very large head or don’t mind a really lose fit).

If nobody takes up the Golden Tassel, we’ll write a farewell post and call it a day.

If you would like to discuss in real time, you can reach me at 573.200.6776.

Fez #1

UPDATE: 3.21.12

Greetings Brothers and Sisters of The Order of the Fez. There have been a few changes I’d like to share with you. In no particular order…

  • The recent induction of Fez #53 — Steve “Mongo” Mosley — broke our long drought for new members.
  • I’ve moved the OOTF blog (as you can see). Again. My Posterous experiment didn’t produce the desired results (more posts by more members and greater engagement). More on that in a moment.
  • I’ve also created a Google+ page for the OOTF. Some of you will be familiar with Google+, others won’t. I’ll be happy to answer questions but if you visit the page above,  you’ll get the picture.

If you have a gmail account, you probably already have a G+ account… if not, it takes about 15 seconds to activate.

The WordPress blog is a fine place for archiving our stuff but not so good for real-time engagement. I know, that’s something of a tired buzz word but I would like to hear from our members more often. See what you’re up to. Google+ is damn good for that .

Once you add the OOTF page to one of your “circles,” I can add you back. Again, don’t sweat the mechanics on this. And if you decide to skip this little side-trip altogether, that’s cool too. Just wanted yo to know what we’re doing.

What else?

I copied most of the posts from the blog to Google+ but did a little house-keeping as I went. If you can’t find something, let me know.

Fez One

Rent’s due. Time to move.

Long-time OOTF’ers know not to get too settled because it’s only a matter of time before this blog pulls up stakes and moves. Here’s the deal: A week or so back Twitter announced it had purchased Posterous. While there is no immediate plans to pull the plug on all those Posterous blogs, I decided this is a good time to relocate.

So here we are at orderofthefez.wordpress.com. We’ve been on WordPress before but it was self-hosted and I had some space issues.

I moved to Posterous in hopes of getting more OOTF members to post here. A few did but not enough to warrant staying there. HOWEVER, if anyone would like to contribute here, let me know and I’ll create an account for you.

More housekeeping: I’d like to update our list of members with twitter accounts. And if you’re using Google+, let me know that as well. Just leave info in comments.

Do NOT touch my fez


“The Tall Guy tried to take my fez at Gunpoint but I was able to slip away when I tempted him with a lovely beverage. Then the giant alien creature caught up with me and snatched it away, only after an hour long battle was I able to retrieve it from her but sadly I came out a little worse for wear. A friendly doctor in the booth across from us aggreed to take a break from working on his friend with a flat top and patch me back up for today.” More...

Fez #53: Steve “Mongo” Mosley


“I have followed the Order of the Fez for some time and recently decided that I would like to petition to the order. In the past I thought myself not worthy but after explaining my fez to a stranger at a restaurant recently it occurred to me that having the Fezorocity to wear it in all manner of places and then to explain: “No I’m not a Shriner, I wanted to be one, but it turns out I couldn’t fit in the car. So it’s just me.” (I’m kind of a big guy.) might qualify me.”

“I remember the old website had the guidelines to do so but wasn’t able to find it on the new posterous site? If I recall there was the option to specify the number that you’d like to be, in my case I’d like 53 as my father graduated HS in 1953 and I also have a couple 1953 Trucks and a car. Needless to say I poked around the internet and was able to track you down so I thought I’d ask for your help in this matter. If there is someone better to discuss with let me know. Also if you could point out what other requirements I need to meet I can provide whatever information is necessary as well as any headgear references that might be required.”

Respectfully yours, Steve “Mongo” Mosley

Yes, Steve, I believe we did post some guidelines at one time but we made those up as we went along, so…

Once I explained the Sanctity of the Sequence, Steve said he is fine with #51, so please welcome him to The Order.

UPDATE: Fuck it. We haven’t had a new POW in months so if Mongo wants #53, he’s got it. We’ll treat #52 like the 13th floor in a skyscraper. There isn’t one (unless and until someone requests it). I thought I had posted this Royal Decree but apparently not.

The Professor has a problem

This way for more jocularity.